Do you remember what it felt like when you first fell in love with your partner? You couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t eat and all you could do was think about them? Chances are you don’t feel that way anymore. Sure your love has grown deeper and more secure, but there isn’t that excitement like you felt in the beginning. Well, I have good news for you! That rush in the beginning stages is caused by hormones and neurotransmitters firing in your brain. They are responding to the excitement of something new, different and novel. So, to put spark those feelings again. we can fake it by doing exciting, new, and novel things with our partners. Here are just a few ideas to help you put that spark back into your relationship:
1. Do something new together: Is there a new cuisine or restaurant that is all the rage that you two have never tried before? Make a reservation. New neighborhood or city you and your partner have never been to? Book a trip. Do you both love improv? Take a class. The goal is to get you two out of your comfort zone to feel the thrill of experiencing something different.
2. Plan a date: Go into this date with the intention that it is a time to bond and connect. After we have been with our partners for awhile, dates can become mundane. We may be checked out or distracted. So instead, unplug! Put all electronic devices aside and connect. Look into each other’s eyes, hold hands and be present with your partner.
3. Do something thrilling: Do you two like scary movies? Go check out the newest terrifying movie, visit a cemetery at night, tell ghost stories around a camp fire. The goal is to get the adrenaline pumping the same way it does when you are first falling in love.
4. Talk about when you first fell in love: Sit down with your partner and take turns telling each other the story of when you first fell for your partner. Bringing these memories back up to the surface and thinking of them again can trigger the feelings we had for our partners when we were in the throes of new love.
The main goal of these exercises is to get you out of the day to day experience with you partner. They also make you prioritize your relationship by setting an intention to connect. And of course you can try these any time you start to feel distant from your partner and want to bring the passion back to the relationship.