Performing household tasks- such as washing dishes and doing the laundry – are an inevitability of adult life. Every individual has different preferences and standards for the levels of cleanliness that he/she upholds. When a couple chooses to cohabitate, they must also reconcile any differences in the performance of household tasks.

It is not uncommon for couples to become stuck in a pattern of frustration surrounding the division or completion of menial tasks. If it goes unaddressed, what was seemingly small can- over time- feel monumental. Here are some pieces of insight to help prevent or remedy this issue in your own relationship:

Keep in mind that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to divide household tasks; what works for one couple may be ineffective for another. For example, there are some couples who may function best with a 50/50 split, while others may prefer a more fluid approach, and still others may have an arrangement where one partner completes the lion’s share of all household tasks. All of these arrangements can work, as long as the situation is agreeable to both partners.

Getting help means relinquishing control. If you like tasks to be completed in a specific way, it may be challenging to allow your partner to take over. If your partner is unfamiliar with a task, it may be appropriate to provide some amount of guidance if this can be done while maintaining a stance of mutual respect. Once you have agreed to divvy up tasks, however, it is important that you allow your partner to have autonomy in completing his or her share; otherwise, you may be inadvertently signing up to complete more tasks than you would prefer.

To learn more about navigating household tasks with your partner, contact one of our couples counselors by clicking below:

Written by Joanna Aslanian, LPC, ATR-P