Every relationship is different. Every partner is different. We form our ideas of how a relationship should be and what type of partner we want to be based on the examples around us. Oftentimes this means our parents’ relationship, friend’s relationships, and past relationships (the good and the bad!) influence our role as a partner. Even social media plays a role; #couplegoals is everywhere! We certainly have many influences, but we get to pick and choose what aspects we want to incorporate into our own role as a partner.

With all these influences, how do you figure out what type of partner you want to be? Start by thinking about couples that inspire you. What do you admire about their relationships? Consider your past relationships. What did your partner do that made you feel loved or supported? Reflect on feedback you’ve received from past or current partners about how you made them feel good or loved. Try to think objectively about yourself as a partner. What do you like about yourself as a romantic partner? What areas would you like to work on?

Most of us don’t take much time to consider what type of partner we are or what type of partner we want to be. We tend to be focused on what type of partner we are looking for. Taking a little time to figure out what qualities you bring to the relationship allows you to figure out what type of partner will compliment you best!

It’s easy to get caught up in expectations for your partner, but we have to look at our own role too. After all, there are two halves in every #couplegoal.

This blog post was written by Taylor Walker, Ed.S.